


Sleepless Nights

by AngoMcDango



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Insomnia, Other, Sad, its sad, small anxiety attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 06:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8612437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngoMcDango/pseuds/AngoMcDango
Summary: "Magnus sighed, and rubbed his eyes harder. He pressed softly enough down into his sockets with his calloused palms until he saw swirling colors like the Voidfish was right there in his eyes. He sighed again, and blinked away the galaxies he'd created.
It was six in the morning, the sun almost beginning to crest the Faerun horizon, and Magnus hadn't slept again."





	

**Author's Note:**

> This started with the thought "what if Magnus still owns something from when he lived in Ravens Roost?" to "what if merle is a bad dad about e•mo•tion•s???"

_Julia._

Magnus sighed, and rubbed his eyes harder. He pressed softly enough down into his sockets with his calloused palms until he saw swirling colors like the Voidfish was right there in his eyes. He sighed again, and blinked away the galaxies he'd created.

It was six in the morning, the sun almost beginning to crest the Faerun horizon, and Magnus hadn't slept again.

He shifted himself in bed, pulling his quilt over a shoulder and turned towards the wall. The quilt, being pulled up, now shifted past his knees and left his toes to the freezing night of the moon. He huffed and tried to pull the worn blanket down, exposing his shoulder in the process. He huffed louder to his empty bed.

_Julia._

Julia had made this quilt when they were younger, long before they married. She sat on one of the first stools he ever made and created a whole blanket for the two of them using old clothing they didn't fit in anymore. He sat on the floor by the fire with her and watched in awe as her fingers zipped through the sitches, not even looking as she laughed and told him stories about the market that day. He never understood how she did that so well, multitasking. Her long hair illuminated in the fire as she worked for hours.

Magnus squeezed his eyes tight, as if to make the memory dissapear. He tried to think of something else, anything else but...

_Julia._

She always joked that he was a "straight down the path" sort of man, the kind to just follow what everyone else said. He would blush each time and say he didn't mind as long as she was by his side. After what seemed like the fiftieth time they had this back and forth, he finally got the courage to ask for her hand. She kissed him, and he could feel tears roll down her cheeks as she smiled into his chest.

"Of course, Mags."

Magnus hears a *thump* in the common area, and decides now is as a good time as ever to get out of bed. Clear his mind from his thoughts, maybe drink some oolong. He pushes the quilt aside and steps out of bed, stepping as quietly as he can to his door. He can't see any lights on underneath the doorframe as he carefully pushes it open.

"Taako?" A small but gruff voice comes from the living room, unmistakably Merle's.

"Oh, ah, no it's me. Magnus." He adds his name to the end, as if Merle hasn't known his voice for a year now.

"Hey kid, lemme turn a light on for you." Magnus hears a clatter as the dwarf scoots over on the couch to the lamp residing next to it. The warm light turns on, and Merle can see wet streaks going down Magnus' face.

"Woah woah, everything alright partner? It's a bit too early in the morning to feel sorry for yourself, isn't it?" Merle cracks a toothy smile, worry still written across his brow.

Magnus half-grins back. "Oh, sorry, just had a, uh, nevermind." He stands awkwardly in his doorway to the living area, looking everywhere but at the cleric.

Merle worries his brow farther, scooting his round glasses slightly down the bridge of his nose. "Why don't you eh, come sit down with me. We can watch some Fantasy Jeopardy?" He pats the cushion next to himself at the much larger man.

Magnus nods, still not looking at Merle, and pads over to him, slumping slightly when he sits down. The two sit in not-quite-comfortable and not-quite-uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, Magnus fiddling with his fingers.

"Hey Merl-" Magnus starts, and then shuts his mouth as quickly as it started. "Nevermind."

"No, no, come on now. We can't have any more Angus' rolling around here in the middle of the night, crying to you or Taako. Spit it out, big man."

"Have you ever been married?" Magnus asks, still not looking up from his hands.

Oh. Merle flushes in embarrassment, and feels his skin grow cold. Magnus is shaking now, worrying his hands together and clenching his knuckles until they turn white.

"Well... I have. St-still am in a sense, I suppose." Fat tears are rolling down Magnus' sideburns, his voice cracking with each word. "Th-there was no real goodbye, so I g-guess I'm still married. Sh-she..." A sob breaks through, Magnus clasping his hands over his mouth at the end of it.

"H-Hey kid, come here, come 'ere." Merle climbs over to the shaking fighter, who is trying to fight back every emotion he is having. Merle sits next to him, carefully grabbing one of his hands and rubbing his arm with the other. Magnus leans into the touch, quiet noises still tumbling out.

"I don't know your situation but... I've been married too. And I didn't say goodbye. I-I-I didn't do anything. You?" Merle scoffs. "I know you. I know you did everything you could. You're a fighter, Magnus. You... you help the people who need help. You're there for the little guys, you know? You're- you're Magnus!" The noises have stopped now, and Magnus pulls his free hand up to wipe at his face.

"I wasn't always... this Magnus though. I was better than this. With her. Everything was better with her." He stares at the fading tanline around his ring finger, Merle following his gaze. The small dwarven hand reaches over and places his hand over Magnus' much bigger hand, squeezing gently on his fingers.

"Listen here Magnus. We've all been through some really bad shit. And right now, it's six in the freakin' morning, and you know what that means." The dwarf stares intently at him. Magnus shakes his head.

"What does that m-"

"It means that Angus only has another hour before he wakes up, and I bet we could get some real freaky mask enhancements at the Fantasy Costco and probably make the little twerp pee himself." Merle cracks a grin, still gently holding Magnus' hand. Magnus lets out a small laugh, and pulls Merle's hand up to his face, rubbing it on his beard.

"Only if I can make him pancakes after." He presses his own hands against his eyes again, the galaxies re-forming behind them. He hears Merle fake a long sigh and blinks awkwardly until he can properly see again.

"Ugh, well, I suppose... the brat has saved our skin quite a few times now..." He hops off the couch and waddles over to a row of hooks where their animal masks hang. Grabbing his own and the bear mask he trots back over to Magnus, picking up his shoes on the way out.

"Can I ask you something Mags?" Merle carefully inquires. Magnus is lacing up his boots and stops when Merle speaks.

"Of course, Merle. Anything." Magnus has his eyes closed now, expecting the question.

Merle rubs the back of his neck. "What was her name?"

Magnus opens his eyes and sees the sunrise through their dorm's windows. He smiles softly, and looks down to his companion.

"Julia."


End file.
